Thursday, June 30, 2011

I Want to Be Like You

My husband told me the other day that I needed to update my blog.

You know it's been awhile when he reminds me.

I haven't really needed the reminder, what I really needed was a topic.

Sure, I could write about the many small children that I love, I could write about the many small things that I love. There have been many small things I've wanted to share but haven't found the time or motivation to write down.

But I think this morning I'm going to share this:

Follow the Rabbi Lectures by Ray Vander Laan

My sister Mindy shared these with me last January and Erik and I finally made it through them all. (We only listened to them together while we where traveling somewhere and we just haven't traveled all that much).

I highly recommend these lectures. I put them on my ipod and listened to them before falling asleep at night. I listened to them when I went walking. I listened to them on the computer while the kids where doing homework or watching a movie, and then I listened to them in the van with Erik.

And it's got me thinking about a lot of things. But last night it got me thinking about this:

So many times I've thought to myself: I want to be like my mom. I want to be like Laura Ingalls Wilder. I want to be like this friend, or that friend. I want to be like so and so... The list can go on and on. And yet why is it that though I claim to believe in Jesus and I want to be a disciple of him it's farther down on my list that I want to be like Jesus. That's what it means to be his disciples, to be like him. And I'm finding that I don't know what that means. I'm finding that I don't know what that means because, I hate to admit it, I don't know what he's like. Sure, I know he's God and I can spout the many attributes of God as listed in the Bible. I could probably even quote you some verses. But do I know Jesus? Do I know how to answer the oft misused and abused "What Would Jesus Do?" Do I really know what he would do? I can make an educated guess but do I know? Do I know it with every fiber of my being?

Wish I could tell you that I'm on fire and passionately seeking him, diving into the Bible with joyful abandon and devouring his word like I devour other favorite books, but I can't. It's a choice that I'm making and working at. I want to know my Jesus. I want his name to top the list of people I want to be like.

I want to purposefully and practically know Jesus.

1 comment:

Chelsea said...

I'm glad you updated! two posts to catch up on in one night- I like it.
So... just because this post got me thinking... do you think the good that you see in the people you want to be like (more your mom than Laura Ingalls) could be the reflection you see of Jesus? Maybe your prayer could be, or my prayer for you could be ;-) that the Holy Spirit would make the attributes of Jesus shine through the people you adore-- that you'd see more of Him and less of them-- that you'd hunger after Him and desire to be devouring His word because of the wonderful things you see shining through the people you love. Guessing by your heart for the Lord, I think your desire to be like someone is because of the way they reflect Him.
You've got me thinking on this one.... :-)