My husband told me the other day that I needed to update my blog.
You know it's been awhile when he reminds me.
I haven't really needed the reminder, what I really needed was a topic.
Sure, I could write about the many small children that I love, I could write about the many small things that I love. There have been many small things I've wanted to share but haven't found the time or motivation to write down.
But I think this morning I'm going to share this:
Follow the Rabbi Lectures by Ray Vander Laan
My sister Mindy shared these with me last January and Erik and I finally made it through them all. (We only listened to them together while we where traveling somewhere and we just haven't traveled all that much).
I highly recommend these lectures. I put them on my ipod and listened to them before falling asleep at night. I listened to them when I went walking. I listened to them on the computer while the kids where doing homework or watching a movie, and then I listened to them in the van with Erik.
And it's got me thinking about a lot of things. But last night it got me thinking about this:
So many times I've thought to myself: I want to be like my mom. I want to be like Laura Ingalls Wilder. I want to be like this friend, or that friend. I want to be like so and so... The list can go on and on. And yet why is it that though I claim to believe in Jesus and I want to be a disciple of him it's farther down on my list that I want to be like Jesus. That's what it means to be his disciples, to be like him. And I'm finding that I don't know what that means. I'm finding that I don't know what that means because, I hate to admit it, I don't know what he's like. Sure, I know he's God and I can spout the many attributes of God as listed in the Bible. I could probably even quote you some verses. But do I know Jesus? Do I know how to answer the oft misused and abused "What Would Jesus Do?" Do I really know what he would do? I can make an educated guess but do I know? Do I know it with every fiber of my being?
Wish I could tell you that I'm on fire and passionately seeking him, diving into the Bible with joyful abandon and devouring his word like I devour other favorite books, but I can't. It's a choice that I'm making and working at. I want to know my Jesus. I want his name to top the list of people I want to be like.
I want to purposefully and practically know Jesus.