Erik and I have been cleaning the church every week for about 5 years now and there are some weeks that I just hate it. I don't want to do it and I go with a rotten attitude, dragging my feet and wishing to just quit. But that little bit of extra money does help out every month and there are times that I do enjoy it and today I realized something; whilst my children are safely ensconced in the nursery watching a movie I get an hour or two to think, uninterrupted. I like that.
Today if you had innocently asked what was on my mind you would have been entreated to dialogue with me on the Crusades. I've been reading The Crusades by Zoe Oldenbourg during the day and dreaming about the Crusades at night. It is an interesting read and I found myself wondering why I can't get it out of my mind. I've been so long steeped in Robin Hood and tales of Knights and I've read most of the Cadfael Series by Ellis Peters that reading a history of the Crusades was slightly disappointing at first. I hadn't realized how much I had romanticized this "Age of Chivalry" and I find myself oddly feeling the need to immediately make a judgment as to the right or wrongness of the Crusades. There are so many questions and thoughts reeling through my head that I'm not even sure how to put them all down. This may be food for thought for the next few weeks of cleaning or at least until I finish book; I'm only on page 120 of 600 or so. So stay tuned to see if I can make heads or tails of this muddle.